Hundreds of matrimonial websites, thousands of marriage bureaus and social organizations are providing matrimonial services in the country but the situation is such that
In the presence of thousands of matrimonial service providers, match making should be fast and divorce rate should be lowest. Why is it not so? Why just reverse is the situation? To understand the reasons behind these problems, we need to understand how our match making system has changed in the last half century.
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Previous Match Making System |
Current Match Making System |
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Average marriageable age was 18-23yrs |
It is now 25-30 yrs |
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Marriageables were very less educated. |
Marriageables are highly educated. |
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Choice of match was from very few matches. |
Choice from Hundreds of matches. |
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Decision making authority was with elders. |
Decision taking by the marriageables. |
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Match making was from nearby towns. |
It is across the globe, no boundary. |
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Match making was through a mediator familiar with families of marriageables. |
No familiar mediator, match making mainly through matrimonial service providers. |
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Only parameter of match selection was Family Status. |
Lot of parameters related to marriageable and his/her family. |
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No doubt about stability of marriage as divorce was very rare. |
Uncertainty of Stability of marriage is always there while selecting match. |
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Compatibility between the marriageables was no issue. |
Psychological compatibility between marriageables is a major issue. |
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No. of educated girls was lower than boys. |
No of educated girls is higher than boys. |
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Very few girls were working. |
Majority of girls are working . |
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Town of residence of marriageable boy was no consideration for the marriageable girl. |
Girls don't want to get married with boys living in small towns. |
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There was no Kundli Matching as people did not record the date/time of birth of children. |
Kundli Matching has been promoted as the biggest parameter of match selection. |
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There was no alternative to Heterosexual (man & woman) marriage. |
Live in relationship and same sex marriages are there. |
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Mother of marriageable girl was worried about her adjustment with her would be mother in law. |
Mother of marriageable boy is worried about her adjustment with her would be daughter in law. |
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Chances of cheating by mediator or families of marriagables was negligible. |
Lot of cheating by Matrimonial Service providers and even parents of marriageables. |
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Match Selection was no uphill task for parents, it happened just automatically by relatives and friend circle. |
Match Selection has become a Big Project for the parents which requires a lot of knowledge, understanding and efforts. |
Indian parents wish their children should go for arranged marriage with parental involvement rather than love/court marriage at their own but not ready to synergize their thought process with the prevailing system. Neither they do anything for educating their children for married life nor they make required efforts for search of match nor for background check of match, all their energy and money are targeted at wedding.
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WEDDING |
MARRIAGE |
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Wedding is short term celebration of getting married. |
Marriage is a life long relationship between a man and a woman which procreates children and creates family. |
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Wedding is a public event. |
Marriage is between bride and groom. |
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There is no wedding without marriage. |
Marriage can be solemnized without wedding. |
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Wedding needs no registration. |
Marriage must be registered officially. |
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Lot of money is spent on celebrations of wedding. |
Marriage may be solemnized with little expenses. |
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Large number of relatives and friends are invited. |
Only two witnesses are required. |
Some Faults of Our Match making Process
Parents don’t motivate their marriageable children to go for Pre-marital counselling so that they may understand Match Selection,
